--- title: "Elkaar: each other" level: B1 chapter: "Pronouns" canonical: https://www.dutchfluency.com/grammar/each-other updated: 2026-10-08 author: Dutch Fluency license: CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/) --- # Elkaar: each other _Elkaar_ means each other. You use it when two or more people do something to one another: _Sanne en Daan kennen elkaar_ (Sanne and Daan know each other). It has one form for everyone, and with a preposition you simply put the preposition in front: _met elkaar_, _naast elkaar_. ## The pattern > When an action goes from one person to the other and back, use _elkaar_. It never changes form for the subject and stands where any other object stands. - It refers to two or more people or things, usually the subject: _we_, _jullie_, _ze_, two or more names, or a group word such as _de hele familie_. - One form for all: _we helpen elkaar_, _jullie helpen elkaar_, _ze helpen elkaar_. - With a preposition, the preposition goes first: _met elkaar_ (with each other), _bij elkaar_ (together), _naast elkaar_ (next to each other). If the verb has a [fixed preposition](https://www.dutchfluency.com/grammar/verbs-with-prepositions), keep it: _wachten op elkaar_. - Without a preposition, _elkaar_ normally comes before the final verb, like other objects: _We hebben elkaar gisteren gezien._ A phrase with a preposition can also follow the final verb, especially in speech: _We hebben lang gepraat met elkaar._ - In relaxed speech many people say _mekaar_. Same meaning, but keep it for friends and chats, not for formal situations. ## Examples | Sanne en Daan **kennen elkaar** van de universiteit. | Sanne and Daan know each other from university. | | Mijn buren en ik **helpen elkaar** met de boodschappen als iemand ziek is. | My neighbours and I help each other with the shopping when someone is ill. | | Fatima en Priya **bellen elkaar** elke zondagavond. | Fatima and Priya call each other every Sunday evening. | | In de trein zaten Mei en Ahmed **naast elkaar**. | On the train, Mei and Ahmed sat next to each other. | | Op een verjaardag zit de hele familie **bij elkaar** in een kring. | At a birthday party, the whole family sits together in a circle. | | Op het werk hebben we **met elkaar** afgesproken dat niemand na zes uur nog mailt. | At work we agreed with each other that nobody sends emails after six. | | Joris en Lotte wachten bij de ingang **op elkaar**. | Joris and Lotte are waiting for each other at the entrance. | | Carlos en Emma zijn vorig jaar **uit elkaar** gegaan. | Carlos and Emma split up last year. | | Zien we **mekaar** zaterdag bij Yara? | Will we see each other at Yara's on Saturday? | ## Why it works this way _Elkaar_ grew out of _elk ander_, literally each other, so both sides of the action are built into the word. The grammar term is reciprocal pronoun: a pronoun for an action that goes both ways. In the [lesson on reflexive verbs](https://www.dutchfluency.com/grammar/reflexive-verbs) you met _zich_, a reflexive pronoun (a word that points back at the subject itself). Picture arrows. With _zich_, every arrow curves back to the same person. With _elkaar_, the arrows cross over to the other person: - _Bas en Yara verdedigen zich._ They each defend themselves. - _Bas en Yara verdedigen elkaar._ They defend each other. - _De buren praten over zichzelf._ The neighbours talk about themselves. - _De buren praten over elkaar._ The neighbours talk about each other. If you speak German or Spanish, take care here: German sich and Spanish se can mean both themselves and each other. Standard Dutch keeps the two apart, so for each other you use _elkaar_: _Wij kennen elkaar al jaren._ This also explains why _elkaar_ never changes with the subject. _Zich_, _ons_ and _je_ have to match the subject because they point back at it. _Elkaar_ always means the other people in the group, so there is nothing to match. One related form you will need is the possessive _elkaars_ (each other's): _Ze lenen elkaars fietsen._ A few combinations have become fixed expressions: _uit elkaar gaan_ (to split up), _drie dagen achter elkaar_ (three days in a row) and _door elkaar halen_ (to mix up), as in _Ik haal die twee woorden altijd door elkaar._ Remember: _zich_ is a mirror, _elkaar_ is a handshake. ## Watch out - Not: _Lotte en Bas zijn verliefd met elkaar._ Say: _Lotte en Bas zijn verliefd op elkaar._ (English says in love with, Dutch says _verliefd op_) - Not: _We wachten voor elkaar._ Say: _We wachten op elkaar._ (English says wait for, Dutch says _wachten op_) - Not: _We hebben gisteren gezien elkaar._ Say: _We hebben elkaar gisteren gezien._ (without a preposition, _elkaar_ comes before the final verb) - Not: _We kennen elkaar's familie niet._ Say: _We kennen elkaars familie niet._ (no apostrophe, unlike English each other's) ## Quick check 1. Choose: _Fatima en Ahmed kennen (zich / elkaar) al tien jaar._ (They have known each other for ten years.) 2. Choose: _Jullie zien (jullie / je / elkaar) morgen op het werk, toch?_ (You will see each other at work tomorrow, right?) 3. Fix the sentence: _Mijn ouders houden na veertig jaar nog steeds elkaar._ (After forty years, my parents still love each other.) 4. Choose for an email to your manager: _Ik hoop dat we (elkaar / mekaar) volgende week kunnen spreken._ ## Answers 1. _elkaar_: they know each other, not themselves. 2. _elkaar_: it means each other and has the same form after _jullie_ as after any other subject. 3. _Mijn ouders houden na veertig jaar nog steeds van elkaar._ To love is _houden van_, and it keeps its _van_. 4. _elkaar_: _mekaar_ is too informal for a work email. ## Use it today Write three true sentences with _elkaar_ about people around you: two neighbours, two colleagues, two friends. For example: _Mijn buurvrouw en ik groeten elkaar elke ochtend bij de fietsenstalling._ Then say them out loud once with _elkaar_ and once with _mekaar_. ## Questions learners ask **What is the difference between elkaar and zich in Dutch?** Zich points back at the subject itself, while elkaar goes across between people. Ze verdedigen zich means they each defend themselves; ze verdedigen elkaar means they defend each other. **Is mekaar correct Dutch?** Mekaar is a very common informal spoken form of elkaar with exactly the same meaning. Use it with friends and in casual chats, but write elkaar in emails, letters and formal situations. **How do you say "with each other" or "next to each other" in Dutch?** Put the preposition directly before elkaar: met elkaar (with each other), naast elkaar (next to each other), bij elkaar (together). If a verb has a fixed preposition, use that one, as in wachten op elkaar (wait for each other). From the Dutch Fluency Grammar: https://www.dutchfluency.com/grammar. Shared under CC BY-SA 4.0.