The pattern
Choose u or jij for the person first. Then match your words to the situation: set phrases in official letters, spoken shortcuts with friends, and plain, direct sentences almost everywhere else.
- Use u with strangers in formal settings, officials and older people you don't know. Use jij or je with friends, family, children and, in most workplaces, colleagues (often your manager too). More in U or jij: formal and informal you.
- u takes a singular verb, and the verb keeps its t in questions: u bent, werkt u? The possessive (the word for your) is uw.
- Formal letter words you will mostly read rather than write: gaarne (a very formal graag), betreffende (regarding), wij verzoeken u (we request that you), indien (if). Subject lines often start with Betreft:.
- Spoken shortcuts: 't for het, 'k for ik, m'n for mijn (my), z'n for zijn (his), d'r for haar (her) or er. They are fine in chats and casual emails, and out of place in formal letters.
Examples
| Kunt u morgenochtend om tien uur langskomen? | Could you come in tomorrow morning at ten? |
| Kun je morgen om tien uur even langskomen? | Can you pop by tomorrow at ten? |
| Wij verzoeken u het formulier uiterlijk 1 maart terug te sturen. | We request that you return the form by 1 March at the latest. |
| Wilt u het formulier uiterlijk 1 maart terugsturen? | Would you return the form by 1 March at the latest? |
| Betreffende uw aanvraag kunnen wij u het volgende meedelen. | Regarding your application, we can inform you of the following. |
| Wij ontvangen uw reactie gaarne binnen twee weken. | We would appreciate your reply within two weeks. |
| 'k Heb m'n fiets weer eens bij het station laten staan. | I've left my bike at the station again. |
| Joris is z'n sleutels kwijt en d'r is niemand thuis. | Joris has lost his keys and there's nobody home. |
| Sanne vindt 't niet erg als we wat later komen. | Sanne doesn't mind if we come a bit later. |
Why it works this way
The word for this is register: how formal or informal you sound. Think of Dutch register as two separate dials.
The first dial is the pronoun. English has one word for you, so the hard part is remembering to choose, and then staying consistent: u goes with uw and alstublieft, jij goes with jouw or je and alsjeblieft. Over the past decades jij has spread to many workplaces, shops and adverts, so u now mainly signals distance and respect.
The second dial is style, and here Dutch is fairly direct. Politeness comes from u, graag, a question instead of an order, and small softeners like even. It does not come from long, roundabout sentences. Many organisations deliberately rewrite their letters this way, turning Wij verzoeken u... into Wilt u...? Words like gaarne and indien survive, but in a modern email they can sound old-fashioned. A word-for-word English Ik vroeg me af of het misschien mogelijk zou zijn om... may even sound vague, while Kunt u mij laten weten of...? is polite and clear.
The shortcuts come straight from speech. At normal speed, het, ik, mijn and zijn are pronounced weakly, and 't, 'k, m'n and z'n simply write that down. That is why they feel natural in a chat with Mei and odd in a letter to the Belastingdienst. More in Spoken shortcuts: 't, 'k, m'n, z'n, d'r.
Remember: Dutch formality is a clean shirt, not a tuxedo. You show respect with u, uw and a polite question, not with heavy words and long sentences.
Watch out
FoutKun u mij even helpen?
GoedKunt u mij even helpen?
the t only drops when jij or je follows the verb
FoutZijn u de nieuwe buurvrouw?
GoedBent u de nieuwe buurvrouw?
u takes a singular verb, unlike German Sie
FoutWilt u hier je naam invullen?
GoedWilt u hier uw naam invullen?
once you say u, your is uw
FoutIn de bijlage vindt u m'n cv.
GoedIn de bijlage vindt u mijn cv.
shortcuts do not belong in a job application
Fout'T is koud vandaag.
Goed't Is koud vandaag.
the capital goes on the word after the apostrophe
Quick check
- Fill in the right form of werken: ... u hier al lang?
- Choose je or uw: Mevrouw El Amrani, wilt u hier ... handtekening zetten?
- Choose Betreffende, Gaarne or Indien: ... uw klacht van 3 april kunnen wij u het volgende meedelen.
- Fill in the spoken shortcut for haar in this text to a friend: Yara is ... telefoon weer kwijt.
Toon de antwoorden
- Werkt: after u the verb keeps its t, also in questions.
- uw: once you say u, the word for your is uw.
- Betreffende: it means regarding; gaarne means gladly and indien means if.
- d'r: the spoken shortcut for haar (her).
Use it today
Take a letter or email from your gemeente, bank or insurer and underline every stiff word, such as gaarne, betreffende or indien. Then rewrite one sentence in plain Dutch that still uses u. You will need the same skill in Writing an email in Dutch: openings and closings.